Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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