Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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