I'm jealous of your bromance
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
