is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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