Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
