Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
