I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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