"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ketchup is God's man juice
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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