He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
