You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
