matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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