some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Come share oat with me in your robe
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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