BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
