Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
