my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
