they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
