used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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