I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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