so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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