sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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