Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So much Jack, so little girl.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
