I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
