My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
