mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
