We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
