I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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