My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
