She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
