my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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