wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
