im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
