he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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