This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
operation harelip BJ is a go
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
