okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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