This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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