Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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