he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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