no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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