uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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