he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She's the barista slut.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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