Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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