I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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