well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
