It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
