omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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