Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize