my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
