i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
