Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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