She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
