So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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